Editorializing Snow and All Its Evil

The following is a paid advertisement for People Against Snow. It is semi-logical and at least a little funny, but its views do not represent those of WordPress. It’s the ramblings of a person who doesn’t like snow.

Like every year, I’ve failed in my valiant effort against a mortal enemy of mine. I have been at odds with this frost-tipped demonspawn for as long as I can remember.

This evil being is the one they call…Snow.

Note that I am not referring to the scholarly singer behind such insightful 90s hits as “Informer” and “Everybody Wants  to Be Like You.” I’m talking about the seasonal precipitation that brings along with it cold, powerful winds, and terrible driving by almost all behind any sort of vehicle. No locusts though, so that’s a win.

Now, I’m a reasonable guy. I live in Winnipeg, and I know what kind of weather we get. I would even say I  like snow (in moderation – a dabble of snow to add that certain je ne sais quoi and ambiance to Christmas is great). But -40 degree temperatures, blowing ice wind, and mroe crashes than you can shake a stick at? Please, keep it to yourself.

Not to mention that Summer and Fall are inherently better in terms of weather. Would I rather have long, sunnny days with mostly clean streets and blue skies? Not to mention somewhat capable drivers everywhere?

Or would I want the grey and putrid vision of dusty clouds, slushy streets and frozen woodland creatures strewn about?

This is an easy decision to make.

Snow, outside of the 4 days or so around Christmas that add to the scenery, is an abomination that must be stopped at all costs. Drop a line in the comment box to see how you can help fight this problem today.

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Normally, at this point, I’d put a U2B (YouTube for you less savvy internet goers :p hyuk hyuk hyuk) here, but even I wouldn’t want you to watch any part of the awful “movie” called Frosty Returns. The only good thing to come out of the movie is an aerosol spray called Summer Wheeze which removed snow just by spraying the substance on it. Definite proof that good can come from bad. Really, really, really bad.

Till next time,

Mike

PS Comedy Night DVDs are still being produced, will let everyone know when they’re available.

Also, I’m working with some select individuals on a new project that will warm hearts everywhere, I’m sure. But that’s a ways off. Stay tuned.